Today was a good day- I love that song

Next time I think about ever having a cigarette again, please remind me how shitty and horrible it feels to quit. I've done this before and I wish I didn't have to do it again. They say it's not physical pain, but it damn well feels like it sometimes.

Cravings are funny things. I read a book today and the author described her anger as starting in her lower back, I concur entirely. I hadn't really thought about it, but I've become more aware of where things come from. Anger in my lower back, tiredness in my eyes, humour in my chest.
My cravings start in my mid section, just above my belly button, and go all the way to the back of my throat.
It's unpleasant, but true to Allen Carr's word, not painful.

J arrived back today. It was all I could do not to cry when I saw him. I missed him more than I even thought I would. I also romanticised him I think, and that isn't his fault.
Maybe I've been missing him for longer than he's been away...

It's nice to havea clean house, and I'm tired so hopefully I'll sleep well tonight. Last time I quit smoking ( henceforth known as #1)I had serious insomnia issues. fingers crossed....

I have a book about being a courageous follower that should help get me to sleep. I think its something I need to read. How to stand up to and for our leaders. This year I can be proactive. This year I can do all that jazz.

night night,
xxR

WTF!?

I can't believe I set up *another* blog.

Social networking being what it is, there is not really any way that you can be completely yourself. Things like Facebook, I mean when your boss adds you, you can hardly not accept. and your boyfriends kid nieces, who can't know that you swear or drink or anything much.
Not that swearing and drinking is all there is to me.

I also feel the deep need to discuss the music which my friends harrass me for liking. I guess you could call me emo, but not the 'with fringe' emo.

I'm new to domesticity and gardening and cooking, and as much as I desperately want to be one of the 'craft' types, I'm really not. I can't kick it with the big guns, not yet. One day I'll show you all my homemade vegan tier cake with avocado icing, but at this stage I'll have to settle for being proud of cooking rice in the rice cooker successfully.

The bf is away too, so I'm bored as shit over the holidays. Back to smoking quite a lot, to my disgust and actual pleasure. After the festive season, i'll sort it out.
xx